Uwe Boll: Crappy Director, Hilarious Man

Posted by Krystal in Entertainment and Pop Culture Movies.

So, this is most likely old news to some, but last spring an online petition appeared titled “Stop Uwe Boll!” It was made by disgruntled video gamers and cinematic lovers alike, trying to get director Uwe Boll from making awful films. Having spent some time watching Alone in the Dark and BloodRayne on Sci-Fi Channel, I totally agreed and signed the petition. It turns out though, I was totally wrong.

I looked up Uwe Boll on Wikipedia and found out that he has a really interesting back story. He is notorious for calling out critics and challenging them to fights. In fact, he actually arranged a boxing match between him and four critics. This intrigued me because, seriously, a boxing match?! Then, I read about how he spoke out about the online petition and there was a video of it on YouTube. Watching the video made me feel like a total asshole.

In the video, Uwe Boll said some things that I 100% agree with. I have been complaining about Eli Roth for a while now and it has fallen on deaf ears. Seriously, Hostel is crap. It is a cheap Saw rip-off and that isn’t saying much because Saw is down right hideous. Michael Bay makes mindless films. He has directed some of the worst movies of the 90s and the recent millennium: Bad Boys, Bad Boys II, The Rock, Pearl Harbor and The Island. I remember being a freshman in high school and being dragged to see Pearl Harbor. First of all, the theatre was completely empty (which is normally a treat, but this time should have been my first warning sign of things to come. Seriously, if the theatre isn’t packed in my hick hometown, then something is wrong.) I spent the next 400 hours staring at Ben Affleck’s droopy eyes and Kate Beckinsale’s rabbit teeth. It was dreadful. I literally fell asleep in the theatre. That movie was painful.

However, I do not think that he “is the only genius in the whole fucking business.” I just think that he made some really good points about what is wrong with Hollywood and how movies are made these days. I just wish I could take back my signature on that petition. I really truly do not mean it now. I am sorry, Uwe Boll.

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