Remember the other “special lady”

Posted by Sara in Weddings.

In this day and age, people are no longer doing things in the same order they did before. Lots of women are waiting to marry later in life, and many of those women already have children. My friend always jokes that she did things “in the wrong order,” but I don’t think it’s “wrong,” I just think it’s modified from what we were taught to believe we had to do. 

From what she’s shared with me, my friend’s experience with wedding planning has been even more exciting (and also, even more difficult at times), because she can include her 7-year old daughter in her special day. And her daughter is THRILLED at the prospect of wearing a pretty dress and having her hair done very fancy, and very much like her mommy’s. 

But during all the fun and the festivities, any kid can naturally start to feel like they’re being pushed out of the spotlight a bit. And although this day is traditionally all about the bride, it’s just as important for her children. So, if you are getting married and already have children, or if you’re attending a friend who is a proud parent, try to find little ways to include them in your excitement and celebration.

For example, I recently went to this friend’s bridal shower. As for most women, this experience was exciting and totally overwhelming: so many friends, so many presents, so little time to say hello and thank everyone before once again being put on display while opening said presents, then being forced to wear (shudder) The Dreaded Hat of Bow. 

While she was busy being the deserved center-of-attention, however, she still made sure to have her daughter involved. She let her sit with her and pick out the next present she would open, and had her help with the unwrapping, which, for most kids, is more fun than the actual gift.

My coworkers and I also got little gifts that were specifically for her daughter, so she had something to open at the event: one woman gave her daughter a handmade photo album, so she had a special place for her wedding photos; another gave a silly potholder that she knew was something the child had picked to put on her mother’s registry, and I chose a little inexpensive pizza making kit, so they could enjoy a fun activity together as a family.

And that’s really the bottom line: weddings are a celebration of union and of families and each member is important in that. While celebrating the bride and the groom, also celebrate their children, because they are a symbol of life, and a sign for that family’s future.

Weddings |