"I moved my new bed into the room this morning and set it up—and then realized, oh God, I own furniture. This will never fit into a fifteen-passenger van."
"I couldn't shake all those years of forced prayers and terrible things said and done in the name of God, goodness or the like."
"We first had the memorial there to honor Nikk. His friends needed a place to grieve. After the services, they had the cemetery, but many of us feel closer to him at the last place he was alive."
"Religion is not politics, nor is it a buffet line."
"Did I mention that I was only wearing necklaces and shoes?"
"After leaving the salon with new, shiny and fresh-smelling hair, I decided I needed to investigate this line further."
"A vacation (especially one that isn't your typical yearly outing, one that possibly includes family) can be so much more than a break from the mundane; it can be a crash course on who you are."
"I come from a long line of strong-headed women who ran the household with a thick wooden spoon, standing by a hot oven, generally with a drink in hand."
"Now the Democrats need to suck it up and deal with one fact. Barack Obama is our nominee. And the flip-side of that coin? Hillary Clinton is not."
"Does having a Brazilian Wax make any difference during sex?"
"In a city where space is limited and everyone is in a sugar rush from their Bonte waffles, Spool is a cool, composed space that allows you to calm down and let your creative juices flow."
"...it fills you up and knocks the breath out of you all at once and you understand completely without understanding a word."
"And it's always nice to be reminded that one day, 'KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS.'"
"After a somewhat uninspired summer in pop music, the lineup for the fall make it seem that bands have just been saving it all up for a cool-weather eargasm."
"...Just thinking of that abomination makes me want to take a dump on Brett Ratner's porch and rub his face in it so he knows never to even think about making a superhero movie again."
Against Medical Advice by James Patterson & Hal Friedman